I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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