HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
