apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
