perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
