So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Randomize
