i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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