when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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