That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
