You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
