When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
