3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I CAN MOONWALK!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
