Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
