yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
