My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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