i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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