i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I need a beard to bite.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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