at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
