I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
