DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
