I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
