Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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