i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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