I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
