i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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