I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
