You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
