i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize