the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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