I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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