I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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