the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
