and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
