If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
