last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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