We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize