The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
