so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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