and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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