Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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