I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I AM VODKA MAN
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
