There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm getting married
To pizza
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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