I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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