Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
