I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
