ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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