Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
