Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
