You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize