sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
