So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
