I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize