i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
