I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
