He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
