Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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