I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
