thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
