My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Every concussion has its silver lining
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
